If you need any help with your romantic plans this Valentine’s Day, I have four movie recommendations that are sure to set the mood.

If you require a comedy that will guarantee to see you laughing all the way to the bedroom then BOUDOIR OF LUSTINESS is for you.

When a small seaside hotel is due for closure the proprietor, Ethel, decides to change it into a brothel, much to the bemusement of the local Parish Church who have booked out the ballroom for their annual seminar.

Features plenty of scantily clad women in compromising situations.

“Let’s go get a bit of crumpet” gets said a lot and probably features Robin Askwith as the Bellboy.

If you prefer a Sci-Fi movie but don’t want complicated science to stifle any arousement then I recommend watching one of the L.U.S.T In… series of movies

The most popular of the franchise was L.U.S.T IN URANUS which saw the titular Lunar Unified Space Team go on a deep exploratory mission to Uranus.

Due to the distance from Earth to Uranus they spend most of the journey naked and having sex.

If you’re a fan of gritty thrillers then IN THE HEAT OF LUST is highly recommended.

London is in a grip of a heatwave and there is a murderer on the loose.

If murder is not the sort of thing to arouse you then rest assured this movie is filled to the brim with nudity and gratuitous sex scenes to make up for a flimsy plot.

However, should you wish to watch a romantic movie because it is, after all, Valentine’s Day then I recommend THE LUST OF US.

By the 1970s romantic movies had grown dull and we were decades away from Richard Curtis making them interesting again by having them all about rich people.

In the intervening period therefore romantic movies were all a bit creepy.

In The Lust Of Us, a man becomes obsessed with his neighbour, a newly divorced woman who has just moved in next door.

She also quite fancies him but for reasons never explained she decides to have sex with other men while he climbs on to the balcony to watch her.

The movie ends with him falling off the balcony and whilst in intensive care she declares her love for him but he is in a coma so cannot hear her.

The movie was originally entitled “Danger Wank” but changed just before release to avoid people thinking this was an action movie.

Enjoy Valentine’s Day