So the opening of the much anticipated sequel what is also a prequel saw us in World War II.
Following an epic air battle, crates carrying scores of Unicorned Squirrels sunk into the English Channel. I know you are all eager to find out what happens next.
Following the opening credits we move from the 1940s to 1992.
Now I was only 2 back in 1992 and remember nothing about it. I have therefore painstakingly researched that period so it is authentic. I think you agree that my research into World War II really paid off in the opening scene.
Construction of the Channel Tunnel (for those who are unaware that’s the tunnel connecting England and France) had progressed with the English and the French finally meeting in the middle. Fun Fact – The English got there first.
It is during the final stages of construction that our story begins.
We go deep into the tunnel and one side are the French workers and the British workers on the other.
Now, in writing the Unicorned Squirrels I have been careful never to opt for basic stereotypes. Instead my characters are more nuanced, detailing the subtle characteristics associated with a particular nationality.
So our scene begins with an English guy leaving a Port-a-loo toilet.
Dave: Woa! Lads I’d give it s few minutes if I were you.
Johnny: Here, how was it with that bird last night?
Steve: What bird?
Johnny: Y’know that sort who works down at the Cash and Carry
Steve: Yeh she was alright…… Not as good as your sister…..Or your mum.
A play fight ensues as the French workers look on, shaking their heads disapprovingly. One of the French workers digs his spade into the ground which gives way and he falls into a hole.
Dave: What’s happening over there?
Johnny: Silly French Bastard has fallen down a hole.
They walk over and join the French workers to investigate, peering down into the hole.
Steve (speaking into hole) : Hello?
Dave: He won’t be able to understand you….He’s French.
Steve: Well someone needs to go down and see if he’s okay
They all look at each other and then everyone looks at Johnny. He shrugs and reluctantly agrees to go down the hole.
He’s winched down the hole;
Dave: Can you see anything?
Johnny: No…but there’s definitely something down there
They winch him down lower when suddenly;
Johnny: Guys! Guys! There’s something here. Winch me back up! Winch me back up!
The others try to winch him up but the rope is going in the opposite direction….Fast.
Desperately they try to keep hold of the rope but it slips through their hands, nearly causing them to also fall into the hole.
They nervously peer into the hole
Johnny? Johnny mate?
Through the gloom of the hole something emerges. It is Johnny’s severed head.
They all scream and this is quickly followed by the French worker’s head being thrown up through the hole. They scream again.
Dave: What the f…. What the hell is happening.
He nervously peers over the side and he comes face to face with a Unicorned Squirrel bastard.
That’s right. The Unicorned Squirrels are here in the 1990s!