Cocky, Animal Doctor Guy- The Cockhead Bros – A Preview

This is an EXCLUSIVE Preview of the first book in a forthcoming series THE COCKHEAD BROS


Lorenzo ‘Cocky’ Cockhead stared intensely into the mirror. His piercing blue eyes studied his gorgeous reflection.

He was handsome. Staggeringly handsome. Square jawed, defined cheekbones, all framed with some designer stubble.

Lorenzo was so staggeringly attractive, his eyes so dreamy that those who saw him did not immediately notice his one slight imperfection.

In the middle of his forehead was a perfectly formed penis.

He closed his eyes as the memories of all the teasing he had to endure came flooding back.

His peers at school would chant ‘Cockhead….Cockhead….Cockhead’. It didn’t help that this was actually his surname. The confusion he felt as a child was immense; he didn’t know whether the kids were mocking his affliction or simply trying to get his attention.

They had nicknamed him ‘Cocky’ but through his determination and resolve to not let his affliction define him, he chose to own that name.

The name Cocky’ would forever be his. Sure others would throw that name around willy nilly (and even cocky wocky ) but he would make it his…forever.

Lorenzo would not allow the fact that his penis was on his head to hold him back.

He worked hard , kept his head down (literally) and became the best Animal Doctor Guy the small town of Los Pubis had ever seen.

“The patient is prepped”

Lorenzo was interrupted by Tiffany, his assistant. He spied her in the reflection. She was beautiful and Lorenzo took the opportunity to eye her up shapely legs.

She wore a short skirt and heels, totally inappropriate attire to perform animal surgery, but he didn’t care, he liked it.

He closed his eyes and listened to the sound of Tiffany’s heels clip clopping on the tiled floor as she made her way to the operating room.

This was going to be a difficult operation. Lorenzo was about to perform surgery on a depressed Alpaca with a speech impediment who thought it was a bear.

The owner of the Alpaca was Lydia Lunaricious. She was the wife of the CEO of the largest company in Los Pubis. She also happened to be the most beautiful woman ever.

Lorenzo knew if he performed this surgery well and brought her beloved Alpaca back to health then she would have sex with him.

Sure technically Lorenzo was just doing the job he was being amply paid to do but he had seen the way she had looked at him.

The way she had cocked her head to one side and stared into his deep, dreamy blue eyes.

The penis on his head had even twitched with anticipation, brushing the curl,that wistfully fell onto his forehead, aside.

“Can you save Cocky?” She asked

“How did you know my nickname” Lorenzo asked, suddenly conscious of the penis on his forehead.

“My Alpaca is called Cocky. I love him so much. He’s like one of the family”

Lorenzo smiled, he was the greatest animal doctor guy that Los Pubis had produced.

“Of course Cocky will save Cocky” he smiled displaying a row of perfect white teeth “I’m the best.”

Lydia smiled back “Just don’t get cocky”

“Don’t get Cocky, your Alpaca?” Lorenzo asked curiously.

“No” she replied “Don’t get cocky about saving Cocky, Cocky”

He placed his manly hand on her dainty sexy woman shoulder and said “Cocky will not be cocky. Your Cocky will be fine”

He saw tears in her eyes and she leaned over to kiss him. The protrusion on his forehead twitched as he felt her soft lips on his skin.

“You know” Lorenzo said “In Animal Doctor Guy School it is good luck to give the surgeon a kiss on the forehead before surgery.”

“Oh Cocky” Lydia swooned

“Which one?”

“This one” she replied leaning in to kiss his forehead.


The Unerotica Of Selina IX : A Song Of Tyler & Bryce – Part Nine

“Why are you surprised?”

The final Snoflakian dove reached the D’Annimos. Strangely, they were not expecting such an invitation which was surprising given they are all about prophecy.

Nevertheless,with all the invitations sent, thoughts inevitably turned to the peace summit itself.

How would the families all react to the suggestion of peace? This ideal of living together in harmony, to work together for the prosperity of all inhabitants of Earthykinda. To create a world not defined by war and suffering but of understanding and respect.

Well, from what Bryce could work out they were all planning to use the Peace Summit to kill one another.

The Toonidunzas had a very straightforward plan – have sex with them, kill them, eat them and not necessarily always in that order.

The D’Annimos were just going to poison everyone and given that they are all prophetic they probably had an idea whether their plan was going to work or not.

The Bursteads were a little more devious and planned to rule the kingdoms not by obvious force but by stealth.

Their intention was to suggest that the families are united by marriage. With everyone effectively related there would be peace.

Bryce was unsure if this was a master stroke of diplomacy or if this was more to do with their preference for suitors. If everyone is technically related maybe nobody will care what the brother and sister got up to.

In any event, once married the intention was to kill everyone else anyway.

Despite calling for the Peace Summit the Snoflakians had a similar plan, although it was a little more subtle.

Like the Bursteads they wanted the families united by marriage but such a union would not immediately end in death.

The Snoflakians would use the weaknesses of their enemies to manipulate their strengths. They wanted peace but it had to be on their terms.

If the others refused to be compliant then that is when they would die. It was quite clear that even peace loving Snoflakians could be like a cunning Burstead when they had to.

Clearly, everyone had an ulterior motive for wishing to attend the peace summit.

Bryce left the world of Earthykinda to concentrate on some developments in her own life. She too was dealing with an unexpected invitation.

“Why are you surprised? You are my girlfriend after all”

Bryce blushed and lowered her head. She loved hearing Tyler refer to her as ‘his girlfriend’.

They had been dating for sometime but this invitation to the wedding would be the first time he would introduce her to his family and close friends…..and she’d be introduced as his girlfriend!

“It’s in a Hotel, so I thought we can stay there the evening. You know, so we could both have a drink”

“Separate rooms?” Bryce enquired.

“Well a lot of guests are staying” Tyler replied, awkwardly rubbing the back of his neck “So….I could only get one room”

Bryce just nodded. It was understandable that it would be difficult as well as expensive to get two rooms. It was a long drive to the Hotel and neither of them would want to make that trip home late at night.

Yet in the back of her mind something troubled Bryce. Was Tyler expecting sex? That the potent cocktail of wedding romance and alcohol would be enough for Bryce to willingly give up her virginity?

Maybe Bryce would be happy to do so. That seeing how proudly he introduced her to his family would be confirmation that he is her one true love.

But what if she didn’t feel that way? Should she just agree to any sexual request, if nothing more out of gratitude for a lovely evening?

Of course Tyler may not be expecting that at all. His reasons may be genuine and honourable; he most likely would offer to sleep on the floor.

Bryce cursed herself for even thinking that Tyler may have less than gentlemanly intentions.

After all, not all invitations have an ulterior motive.

A Song Of Bryce & Tyler : Part Eight

“They ate the dove!”

This was how the Toonidunzas responded to the invitation to attend the Snoflakian peace summit.

The Chief Dunza, although sometimes it was difficult to know who’s the boss, had grabbed the dove and bit the bird’s head off.

The decapitated carcass was then sent back. As an RSVP it did seem rather passive aggressive; a bit like if someone returns a wedding invitation and under Dietary Requirements had written ‘Don’t think much of the menu choices’.

Bryce sighed. If answers to her dilemma with Tyler were to be found in this book she doubted the Toonidunzas would provide much help.

They were Barbarians and treated everyone with a distinct lack of respect. From what Bryce could work out they’d either kill you or have sex with you, sometimes both.

Tyler was not like that, he was respectful, kind but his primal urges were becoming apparent.

The passion in his kiss had increased. The build up of intensity all designed to finally reach that next stage of their relationship.

If Bryce was reading too much into how he kissed then she could feel his intention quite prominently rubbing against her.

Bryce was certainly not an unwilling participant in this show of passion. But when they reached that pivotal moment a flash of doubt would echo through her mind;

Is he my one true love?

This would be enough for the moment to be gone for Bryce. Whilst Tyler was still very much in that moment, Bryce was planning her exit strategy. Inevitably, it would lead them to sitting on the sofa in awkward silence.

Occasionally, Tyler would break that silence by saying that Bryce was ‘a tease’. He would punctuate that with a laugh so as not to cause offence. However, often he would sit quietly, waiting for his urges to rescind.

The Toonidunzas had no such problems. They simply acted instinctively on their urges. They took what they wanted. Within the Dunza camp there was a harem where the women who lived there had one simple role – to service the most basic of instincts for these warrior men.

The Author spent little time in exploring how these women may feel about this arrangement. The point of view was always from the Dunza Warrior. They didn’t seem to care at all and would have sex if they were happy or mad or sad or even if they just fancied sex.

From what Bryce could work out there was a hierarchy within the harem. As in any clan there were those who were more desirable than others. Indeed to have the Chief Dunza choose you was an indication of status.

Perhaps the Dunzas were not so removed from real life. There were men and women who were deemed more desirable than others; magazines are always creating lists of them. The hierarchy for all to see in glossy print.

Tyler was certainly desirable. He was devilishly handsome, athletic and if the local paper did a list of Most Desirable Guys, he would certainly be at the top.

Such desirability did not go unnoticed by others. Bryce saw how other women look at him. They way they would swoon if he happened to flash them a smile or even simply walk past.

He could have them if he wanted. But he had chosen Bryce. Yet, during those moments in the deafening quiet, where she had once again thwarted his attempts to indulge his urge, she saw he was disappointed.

She could tell by the look in his eyes that was he confused. His mind racing with whether the problem was with him or with her. The mere fact he’d be thinking there was a problem troubled Bryce. Those thoughts would only grow until , like a behemoth, it swallowed them whole and spat out whatever remained of their relationship.

It would be an ironic twist that she could lose her one true love for fear that he wasn’t her one true love.

Tyler had been patient, she loved that about him but she was acutely aware that such a precious commodity can wear thin.

And when it is gone, what next? The Toonidunzas had no patience. When they wanted something they took it.

If Tyler was a Dunza he would have taken her by now. Alternatively, there would be plenty of other women who are available to indulge those primal urges.

Amongst the doves and ravens, Bryce could sense those other women circling like vultures ready to feast on the dying carcass of her relationship with Tyler.

A Song Of Bryce & Tyler : Part Seven

“What the?!?”

Bryce instinctively tossed her tablet onto the cushion next to her. She was confused.

The story had followed the doves on their journey to deliver the invitation from the Snoflakians to attend the peace summit.

The first dove arrived at the Burstead castle. There, from this majestic bird’s point of view, the author described in quite explicit detail a couple having a sex. It was Ullter and Compleat.

Bryce immediately scrolled back through the previous chapters. She was certain that Ullter and Compleat Burstead were definitely brother and sister. Yet they were having sex!

Why? Had the author forgotten they were related? It was quite a lengthy book, perhaps halfway through he decided they would make a great couple and forgot that earlier on said they were related.

No, that can’t be right. This author had a reputation for meticulously planning his stories and Bryce doubted he would throw in such stuff for no other reason than to be provocative.

Perhaps she had read it wrong. It was late at night and she had been reading for sometime. But as she read once more the detailed carnal acts Bryce was pretty sure they were having sex.

Maybe in a clever plot device they don’t know they are brother and sister. It’s possible. The author seemingly has everyone having sex with anyone and so it could happen. Yet the dialogue “Take me now my brother” was a strong indication they knew they were related.

But that was wrong, wasn’t it? It’s taboo. Such things shouldn’t just randomly appear in books. If they had to it shouldn’t definitely have some warning (of which there was none).

Bryce breathed deeply. Perhaps she was taking this all out of context, applying the rules of modern day life. This was, after all, fake olden times and they did things differently back then.

Maybe it was to preserve the purity of the bloodline. That would be a legitimate, if not somewhat, creepy explanation. Yet throughout the history of The Bursteads they seemed to be the first people to be doing it.

Moreso, the King knew about it and did not seem none too pleased. It made no sense and trying to work out why they would do it worried Bryce.

This wasn’t the only thing that occupied her mind. There was another problem involving sex that loomed in the background.

The relationship between her and Tyler had continued to grow and was now reaching that stage where he would be expecting to have sex with her.

Bryce had been there before with other guys but had always stopped short of indulging in that act.

The preservation of her virginity was not due to any strict upbringing or religious doctrine. The behaviour of her sister, who gave hers away at the earliest opportunity, was testament to the lack of attentiveness from their parents.

But whereas her sister would use this freedom to explore the world unchecked, Bryce opted for the more secure and welcoming worlds of her fairy tale stories.

It was all so much simpler in these stories. You could tell who the honourable Prince was. The path to that one true love was always clear.

Was it naive of her to want real life to be like that? Her journey into adulthood had often seen her resolve put to the test.

Firstly, society appeared to deem a pretty girl in her twenties who was still a virgin to be something of a weird anomaly. The default response to such a declaration was not one of respect and understanding but an inference there is something wrong with her. Either that or guys would see it has a tempting challenge.

The latter did not bother Bryce as the stories she read were littered with unsavoury characters who wanted the sweet virgin princess for their own nefarious needs. Bryce was pretty good at spotting them and would avoid them whenever she could.

However, she needed to date guys, otherwise how was she to find her one true love? Invariably, that meant there were always going to be a few false starts.

Many times she thought she had met her true love only for them to turn out to be a nefarious dick in disguise.

This is what caused the inner turmoil in Bryce. How would she ever know if Tyler was to be her one true love?

She had always just presumed that she’d know from a kiss. That always happened in her stories. The rush of euphoria, the tingling, being wonderfully lost in that moment that if she dared open her eyes she’d see she was floating high in the clouds.

Bryce certainly had that feeling kissing Tyler but she had also experienced it with others.

The previous time next stage, Bryce had opened up to the guy about her virginity. His response of ‘Cool. But look I can put it somewhere else if you still want to be a virgin’ led Bryce to believe he may not actually be the one.

Her experience of the world of Earthykinda had compounded her confusion. Previously, the fairy tale lands and real life had enjoyed opposite ends of the spectrum but Earthykinda was different, it sat uncomfortably in the middle.

The magic and wonder was still there but it was an often cruel place where heroes and villains were not as easily defined.

As she spent more time in Earthykinda she begun to think that the fairy tale lands that had kept her safe as a child were no longer fit for purpose in her adult life. Earthykinda seemed more akin to the real world.

The fact she had gone many years without having sex was not because her one true love had not shown up but because he simply doesn’t exist and never would. If she carried on like this she’d die a virgin.

Tyler was handsome and kind. She should just agree to his less than subtle hints they should be having sex and have done with it. Who knows? Maybe he’ll turn out to be her one true love.

How many ‘one true loves’ might she have already missed with her reluctance to give up her flower so readily. If it turns out he’s not the one then she can continue her quest without the baggage of her virginity. After all isn’t that what her sister does….

Bryce sighed heavily. She’d been tested like this before and she had to believe that a one true love did exist. It was not simply a concept exclusive to fairy tales. The path maybe clear but it didn’t make it no less hazardous.

Upon this path I do dare walk

Many nefarious dicks shall talk

Bryce cursed herself for her moment of weakness. Yet as she laid her head on her pillow those thoughts continued to swirl round her mind. A bountiful of question of which her tired and confused mind had no answers.

Is Tyler the one?

Should I have sex with him?

Ullter & Compleat and sister….Really?!

As her eyes became heavy, and her mind emptied ready for slumber one solitary answer to the multitude of questions came.

Perhaps the answer lies in Earthykinda.

A Song Of Bryce & Tyler: Part Six

“Pass it to me…..Now”

Bryce looked on as Tyler skilfully stopped the ball with his feet before successfully evading the advancing slide of an opposition player.

His muscular legs flexed as he sprinted towards the goal, such was his speed and his skill none who wished to stop him could come near.

He swung his leg back and the ball left his foot with such power, like an arrow leaving its bow. It soared through the sky, bending in the light breeze of a spring afternoon.

Only one man stood in the way of Tyler and his prize. Yet try as this lumbering giant might his desperate leap to stop the ball was in vain.

As the ball completed its triumphant journey by clattering against the net jubilant cheers erupted and Tyler’s fellow warriors all huddled around him to offer their praise with lots of hugging and high fiving.

When the celebratory crowd dispersed, Tyler turned to Bryce who gave her champion an applause which he welcomed with a mock bow.

Whilst, no doubt, being the star player on his team was a personal achievement he seemed to relish it more with Bryce looking on. He was comfortable with impressing her with displaying his many physical attributes.

Look fair maiden as I hit that target.

Behold fair maiden as I climb that mountain.

Watch fair maiden as I wrestle that bear.

The referee blew his whistle to signal the end of the half and the players all wandered off to the side of the pitch for refreshment.

A respite for the two warring clans. A temporary peace over the somewhat muddy battlefield as they plot and strategise, ready for the recommencement of this test of skill and strength.

Bryce looked on as the players drunk from their water bottles and endlessly spat. Strangely, it appeared the goalkeeper had opted for a bottle of beer.

Whilst she could have continued to look on and watch grown men cover the grass with saliva , she wished to use this time for a brief return to Earthykinda.

Bryce had been eager to get back into the story because the most recent chapters had all been about The Snoflakians.

At the start, Bryce had adopted the younger Snoflakian Princess as the character she would relate to. There were a number of similarities with her real life.

Like the Snoflakian Princess she was the youngest of two sisters and as in this story the eldest sister was a little wild.

Indeed, Bryce had to work through a number of pages of the elder Snoflakian Princess seemingly having sex with anyone.

Whilst it may have seemed unnecessary and did not add much to character development, Bryce did not mind. It was no different to listening to her own sister when she asked what she got up to at the weekend.

The Snoflakians were all about peace and they truly believed the battle for who controls all of Earthykinda could be resolved through diplomacy and compromise.

Despite their peaceful intentions they were prepared to fight if necessary and had a fully functioning army. Although, from what Bryce could work out they were more used as bed mates for the elder Snoflakian Princess.

The big plan of the Snoflakian King was to bring all the families together for a summit in the hope to carve out a peace treaty that will bring an end to this bloody war that had raged for decades.

The King’s advisors were, its fair to say, not totally on board with this idea. One suggested the King had lost his mind. Another, clearly not understanding the concept of peace, suggested it would be a great opportunity to poison everyone and reign supreme.

Nevertheless, an invitation was sent to all corners of Earthykinda by doves. Normally it would be via raven which is the fake olden times version of the postal service.

However, getting a raven is the modern day equivalent of getting a bill. You know it’s a bill, you know it’s bad news so you just throw it in a drawer unopened. If Bryce really lived in fake olden times there would be a drawer full of dead ravens.

She often wondered if in fake olden times ravens had been used for junk mail purposes;

‘Being Harassed? Picked A Fight With The Wrong Guy At The Tavern? Need To Overthrow An Entire Kingdom?

Then you need Mercenaries2You*

*Terms and Conditions apply. Cannot guarantee it still all won’t go horribly wrong for you.’

By sending a dove it makes it seem interesting, exciting and definitely something they should be paying attention to; the families would be sure to open it.

Whether they accepted the invitation would have to wait. Bryce’s foray into Earthykinda had preoccupied her for the majority of the second half of the match.

She watched as the two teams, who had battled hard, walked off the pitch towards the clubhouse. There, no longer defined by their clan, they would drink and laugh together. Their differences aside they would bond together in mutual respect for the battle fought.

Some may still harbour a grievance for what occurred on that field but even they are placated by the sound of warriors as one and knowledge that a return to the battlefield would occur once more.

Bryce made her way to the clubhouse as the complaints of unfair decisions and injustice were soon replaced by a more peaceful tranquility of combined happiness.

A Song Of Bryce & Tyler : Part Five

“Would you like to go for a drink?”

Bryce was rather surprised by this suggestion from Tyler. They were, after all, having a drink in a coffee shop.

It may have been the perplexed look on Bryce’s face that prompted Tyler to clarify his question;

“I mean a real drink. At a bar” he said.

Bryce was somewhat hesitant to immediately agree to his offer. It wasn’t that she did not want to spend time with Tyler; he was after all a very handsome, charming guy. But she tended to avoid busy bars. The cacophony of noise from the drunken revellers always made her feel uncomfortable.

Besides she really wanted to get stuck in with reading more about Earthykinda.

She had reached the part where the barbarian clan, the Toonidunzas, had returned home following a devastating defeat at the hands of the D’Annimo family.

Surprisingly, despite a number of their clan being wiped out their response was to go home and have sex with the women (or indeed anything else that may be around).

Bryce was unsure if this was an appropriate reaction. If it was for the purpose of procreation, to replenish the numbers lost, then they were going have to wait a good few years until they could attack again. It didn’t seem a very well thought out plan.

The author had been unclear if indeed this was the plan as he seemed to concentrate more on the acts rather than the reason. Through pages and pages of explicit content their motivation remained uncertain, Bryce wasn’t even sure if some of the women had agreed to be party to the barbarian’s carnal wishes.

The explicit description of sexual acts did not totally bother her. Bryce would have preferred it wasn’t there or at the very least a warning of such explicit content (of which there was none).

Besides it had reminded her of that time at school when she was reading a fairy tale book from the school library only to find, halfway through, that someone had drawn a penis over one of the pages.

“So? Do you fancy it?” asked Tyler.

Bryce with some reluctance nodded in agreement. It was a date.

Was it a date though? Or was it just two people having a drink? These thoughts occupied Bryce as she got ready. They had agreed to meet at a trendy wine bar near to where she lived.

Her preoccupation as to what the expectations for the night would be meant she did not have a chance to read anymore about Earthykinda.

Her trip to that world would have to wait while she dealt with real world problems such as what to wear. Not too revealing , not too short but not too casual.

Bryce was not a complete amateur on dating guys but she did contemplate messaging her sister for advice. However as her finger hovered over the ‘L’ in her Contacts she decided it would not be a good idea.

Previously the only advice her sister had offered was ‘Make sure he’s bought you the chicken nuggets before letting him in your knickers’. Such advice had been less than helpful.

Despite it being a Wednesday the bar was quite busy. The clientele consisted mainly of office workers ending their night by drinking themselves into near oblivion.

Bryce had opted to wear smart trousers, a white blouse and ankle boots. Smart enough to show she’s made an effort but a clear sign to Tyler that this was only just a drink.

She found him waiting at a tall circular table surrounded by equally tall stools. Bryce found them a curious thing. Within a few hours the people in this bar will find it difficult to stand, let alone be able to sit four feet off the ground.

Bryce and Tyler exchanged polite pleasantries as she tried to sit gracefully on one of the large stools. Being only five foot five it was something of a challenge to get seated and retain dignity.

Tyler wore his work suit. He had taken off his tie and his top button was undone. Bryce got a whiff of his cologne that smelt fresh. His hair looked wet yet it had not been raining and she presumed he had been at the gym prior to coming to the bar.

Tyler offered to get her a drink which pleased Bryce. Not just because it showed he was a true gentleman but she hadn’t fancied the descent back down from the stool. She intended to do that only when necessary.

Bryce opted for a wine, she was not much of a drinker but could handle her drink. She would limit herself, however, to only a couple of glasses, it was after all a work night.

Tyler as always did most of the talking and Bryce simply smiled and nodded. This was due, in part, to the noise level being so high in the bar. The raucous laughter drowning out whatever it was Tyler was saying to her.

She allowed herself to drift temporarily back to the world of Earthykinda. In fake olden days this bar would be the tavern where many a warrior, thief or vagrant would come to sup ale, sing random songs everyone appeared to know the words to and then fight.

Bryce was certainly sure that Knight Tyler wouldn’t bring her to such an unpleasant place.

After a short while Bryce excused herself to go to the ladies room. There was no urgent need to pee. However, by the time she had lowered herself off the stool and made her way up the unnecessary four flights of steps to the toilet she’d be bursting to go.

Her route to the toilet took her past the bar where a group of men were drinking and talking loudly, they immediately noticed Bryce.

She never did anything to bring attention to herself but she was a pretty girl and that, apparently, was reason enough for attention to follow her.

“Here lads take a look at her” she heard one say, resulting in the less attentive of the group to turn and look at Bryce.

“She’s got a nice rack on her”

“I’d tap that”

“Here darling wanna come over here for a bit of fun” said one whilst grabbing his groin, just in case Bryce hadn’t fully understood what he meant.

She just lowered her head and walked quickly by; she didn’t really know what else to do. Her sister would have handled it differently, given them some expletive laden response in return. But she was not her sister.

Reaching the sanctuary of the toilets she lingered there longer than perhaps she needed to, hoping that by the time she made her way back to the bar the lecherous horde would have dispersed.

Taking one final look in the mirror, she took a deep breath and went back downstairs.

Bryce was disappointed to see they were still there and no sooner had she emerged back into the bar the catcalling recommenced.

She didn’t look at them, didn’t acknowledge them, just put her head down and made her way back to the table.

Tyler had left his seat to meet her halfway “Are those guys bothering you?”

Bryce shook her head. She could hardly say they were. Whilst she was confident that Knight Tyler would unleash hell upon them this was Real Tyler and there was six of them.

She didn’t want any trouble, didn’t want to see Tyler hurt. “No it’s fine” Bryce replied “But if it’s okay with you can we go?”

Tyler nodded and escorted her out the bar. Just as they were leaving Bryce found the courage to turn and look at the group of guys that had so demeaned her.

“Barbarians!” She muttered under breath.

A Song Of Bryce & Tyler : Part Four

“And where do you see yourself in five years?”

Bryce inwardly sighed at the question. She had wanted to be reading more of the fantasy novel but instead was stuck in a room being appraised.

Personal Development Plans, Goals, Objectives all designed by some maniac in Human Resources as a tick box exercise and an opportunity to spout some nonsensical phrases.

“So Bryce I really want to nail down your competency as a team player and measure your productivity for the benefit of our stakeholders”

She would have preferred not being asked a thousand different questions that effectively all asked ‘Are you good at your job’. She wanted to be back in Earthykinda.

The action had just moved to The D’Annimo family; they were the wizardy magic people.

To emphasise how wizardy they were a lot of time was spent by the author in having them talk in riddle and refer to a prophecy.

Bryce was used to prophecies in the fairy tales she read and invariably they would come true no matter how much someone tried to prevent it.

She always saw this as some sort of annoying spoiler right at the start of the book.

Bryce knew that a prophecy was just a posh word for a guess but supposed it wouldn’t sound all mysterious and fantastical if some wise old sage said “So I’m guessing that this child will rule all and bring peace to the kingdom. He might not, but if I’m right – Bonus!”

The prophecy in this story was that ‘Only the True Blood Prince can rule all of Earthykinda”

Therefore all the families now believed that they were the True Blood and all laid claim to the Throne of Earthykinda.

Now because this was fake olden days such claims would not be made through DNA analysis of blood or by going on a reality TV show. Nope. They were all going to beat the crap out of each other thus proving whoever was left standing must be the True Blood Prince.

The D’Annimo family were harbouring a baby that they believed to be the True Blood. The barbarian clan, The Toonidunzas, were trying to murder the child.

Of course, The D’Annimos were not having any of it and defended themselves with all manner of sorcery.

It struck Bryce that if this prophecy had come from the D’Annimos (seeing as they were wizards it made sense they were the ones who brought it up) then why didn’t they just say ‘The prophecy states this child will NOT be the True Blood Prince’.

Just throw in some self-defeating prophecies to throw the barbarians off the scent. Or slicing them in twain with magic fire blasts would also do the trick.

Bryce had wanted to read more but work had prevented her from doing so. Finally, after what seemed an age, her appraisal concluded.

“Well Bryce we are very impressed with your work and you could be looking at promotion in the near future”

Was that a prophecy?

‘I’ll take that pay rise wise old sage.’

A Song Of Bryce & Tyler : Part Three

“Hello again!”

Bryce did not immediately hear these words, it was the shadow of the wonderfully buff Tyler that alerted her to his presence.

His distorted physique temporarily obscured the words she was reading and she furrowed her brow in frustration.

Bryce had eagerly made her way to the coffee shop so she could read more of the epic fantasy story. The chapter she was presently on involved The Bursteads.

They ruled the South side of Earthykinda. The current ruler used to share ownership with his twin brother. Their father unable to choose between them and with no one able to remember who came out their Mother’s vagina first (there were not medical records in fake olden days) he decreed that on his death both shall rule.

However siblings do quarrel, Bryce certainly knew that as she always used to argue with her sister. It therefore became untenable for them to rule the land together.

To avoid a civil war a solution was found. The land would be split in two and one brother ruled the left side and the other the right.

Internal peace ensued and the inhabitants of the South would either be a Left or Right.

Then one day, without any warning whatsoever, one of the brothers died. Poison was suspected and suspicion fell upon the families who ruled the other regions.

This unexpected event did of course mean that the surviving brother took full control over the south. From what Bryce could work out he was a Right Burstead and his name was Tultell.

Tultell Burstead had two children, a son and a daughter, named Campleat and Ullter respectively. They were now fully grown adults and Bryce had just read that they ‘love each other’ when Tyler had once again interrupted her.

She thought it was sweet that these two siblings loved each other. Bryce could not remember once such a declaration of affection from her sister. When they were growing up it was more ‘I’m telling mum’ and ‘You’re a skank’

Bryce looked forward to reading more about how loving and respectful two siblings can be towards each other.

However, she was acutely aware that would not be happening during this lunch break, on account of Tyler’s persistent chattering.

She looked up from her tablet and smiled at him as he begun to regale her of tales of sports and gym.

Having abandoned any hope of reading any more of the book she rested her hand on her chin and listened, staring intently into those dark, dreamy eyes.

Yet her mind was still very much in Earthykinda and as Tyler told of the latest battle on the football pitch she imagined him on the field, knee deep in mud slaying hordes of an advancing army.

A detailed account of his gym session was replaced with images of him bare chested, training with gladiators. His muscles rippling as his hefty sword crashed down on to a sturdy shield.

Her brain conjured a further vivid image of him walking towards her, beads of sweat glistening of his chiselled body which bore the scars of many battles won.

When he noticed her a broad smile appeared on his face as he drew closer. What would he do when he reached her? Kiss her? Wrap those muscular arms round her petite body to bring her closer into him.

Bryce instinctively ran her fingers across the bottom of her lip. The chatter in the coffee shop had become mere background noise.

She looked up at Tyler whose lips were moving indicating that he was still talking. In her mind, Knight Tyler drew closer to her.

He was inexplicably walking in slow motion – this was her fantasy, could her brain not speed things up? Hurry up! Get to that triumphant moment when the Knight would kiss her.

He was only inches away, Bryce could almost reach out and touch him. Then she felt him…It was not Knight Tyler taking her in his arms but Real Tyler placing his hand on hers.

“Hey, are you okay?”

His words and his touch transported her out of Earthykinda and back to the monotonous reality of a coffee shop during lunchtime.

His hand was still on hers and she nervously retracted it.

“You seem to disappear for a moment there.” Tyler said with a laugh.

Slightly embarrassed, Bryce giggled and replied “Sorry! Daydreaming!”

“Nothing wrong with dreaming” he responded “What were you daydreaming about?”

Bryce lowered her head in embarrassment and could feel her cheeks go red “Nothing” she said into her lap “Just silly stuff”.

“Well, maybe you can tell me one day” he said, rising from his seat “I got to go. I’ll see you around.”

Bryce watched him as he walked out of the coffee shop. She shook her head in embarrassment before noticing him looking at her through the window.

She gave him a nervous wave and in the back of her mind a voice called out “See you soon my Knight”.

A Song Of Bryce & Tyler : Part Two


Bryce shot out of bed and rushed towards the shower. She inwardly cursed herself for taking full advantage of the snooze button on her alarm.

To be fair the manufacturers should put a limit on how many times you can press the button. Perhaps after about two or so the electronic aid should take on the role of a responsible adult and just starting shouting ‘GET UP!’

Bryce feared this might happen, she had stayed up particularly late to catch up on reading the new novel ‘The Barbarian’s Wizard’s Wars of the Dragon’s Sword’

The inquisitive yet dreamy Tyler had interrupted her from starting it so she had read into the early hours of the morning. She would have carried on but her eyes and brain conspired to call it a night.

Emerging from the shower wrapped in only a towel Bryce picked up her tablet to see how far into the book she had got before exhaustion overtook her.

She was slightly disappointed that she’s only reached part way into the first chapter. It was an incredibly long book and most of the previous night had been spent wading through the various maps and reading the prologue.

The maps were very detailed and showed all the lands of a place called Earthykinda.

After a brief Google search, Bryce had concluded that no such place existed. It was totally made up.

Earthykinda was meant to be like Earth but different. It wasn’t like it was meant to be on a different planet such as Mars where all manner of weird alien rodents might turn up.

The author seemed particularly keen to point out that this is very much not the earth that we read about in history books, but instead a different earth that was kind of real yet at the same time totally made up.

It’s what Bryce liked to refer to as ‘Fake Olden Days’.

Fake Olden Days was not an unusual concept to her. Most of the fairy tales that she loved were set in that time. Lands ruled by Kings and Queens that never really existed.

When she was a child, Bryce used to believe these worlds were real. Often she would pester her parents to take her on holiday to these lands. Once, on a school trip to the National History Museum, everyone laughed at her when she enquired if they were going to see the excavated bones of all the dragons and orcs.

Although she had never read a story set in Earthykinda , the setting felt strangely comfortable to her. Many would just skip past the maps at the start of the book but Bryce had spent a long time gazing at them, allowing her fingers to trace all the routes to the kingdoms.

The prologue had been a lengthy history of what had happened in Earthykinda. It may have been the lateness of the hour but Bryce often had difficulty following it, on a number of occasions she had to go back and re-read who had been at war with whom.

In the end she concluded that everyone had been at war with each other. For centuries, four families had been fighting it out with each other for total supremacy.

He who holds the dragon’s sword holds the world…..apparently.

The four families consisted of ‘The D’Annimos’, they were the magic type people. Then there were ‘The Snoflakians’ who believed in peace (but still happy to stick a sword in when it matters.

The barbarian clan were known as the ‘Toonidunzas’ and then there were the ‘The Bursteads’ which the prologue suggested were not very nice people.

After the sometimes turgid history of Earthykinda, Bryce was eager to get into the main story.

She got as far as the introduction of a few main characters when sleep overcame her.

There were two characters that particularly interested her. The story begins with one of the daughters of the Snoflakian King.

There was not much of a description of the Princess but as she read about her walking through fields, tending to horses and generally being nice to everyone, Bryce immediately began to relate to her.

She always had a habit when reading a story of latching onto a character and picturing it was her. Without knowing the rest of the characters in the book Bryce decided this Snoflakian Princess will be her.

The other character that piqued her interest was the illegitimate son of the Burstead King. She wasn’t sure if she should like him or not and noted that the author quite crudely and obviously kept calling him a ‘bastard’.

However there was something about his athletic physique, his handsome looks and great hair that Bryce found comfortably familiar.

As she rushed out into the real world her mind was still lingering in Earthykinda.

A Song Of Bryce & Tyler : Part One

“Is anyone sitting here?”

These were the first words that Tyler said to Bryce.

Bryce looked up from her tablet and was curious by the question he had posed. She knew she was pretty, her baby blue eyes and blonde hair seemed to attract a lot of attention. This inquisitive gentleman was no different to the others.

However, it wasn’t so much his reasoning for asking the question but more the fact there was actually someone sitting there – a delightful old lady sipping on camomile tea while doing a sudoku puzzle.

She stared into his dark brown eyes and smiled as he lowered him. He was either shy or just taking the moment to glance at her cleavage, either way he wasn’t blind.

She lowered her head and returned to looking at her tablet. Bryce could still feel him standing there and she playfully bit her lip to stifle a giggle.

She looked back up at him. He was handsome, there was no denying that. Athletic too. She watched as his muscles bulged from beneath his white t-shirt as he lifted the old lady up to move her to another table.

He then took the old lady’s place he had so desired next to Bryce and began making the usual small talk.

Bryce knew he was flirting but she had never been very good at that sort of thing. Her sister was far better at it than she was.

She appreciated that Tyler just wanted to get to know her but his incessant questioning started to irritate her.

What do you do for a living? What do you do for fun? What you reading?

She wanted to reply that he should just ask Facebook as they will tell him everything about her. However, he was remarkably cute so she indulged in responding to his questioning.

He offered his responses to his own questions which surprised Bryce because she hadn’t asked him to.

Despite expressing no interest in knowing anything about him she learned in that one coffee break that he worked in finance, he likes sports mainly football and he goes to the gym every Tuesday and Thursday.

Bryce did not know what to do with this information and just smiled, safe in the knowledge she would have forgotten all about his workout schedule by the morning.

After a while Tyler announced he needed to get back to work and bid her farewell with the words “I hope to see you around again.”

She watched him leave and whilst it may have seemed she was checking out his fine buttocks she was in fact ensuring he had left. She only had a few minutes left before she had to return to work and could do without another round of twenty questions.

Indeed, there was some frustration that super cute and brilliantly handsome Tyler had showed her attention. She had wanted to start reading the new novel she had purchased The Barbarian’s Wizard’s Wars of The Dragon’s Sword.

Since she was a child, Bryce had loved fairy tales. Those wonderful exciting stories of Princesses, Kings, Castles, Knights and Dragons.

As she got older she realised that she probably should read something a little more adult than her childhood fairy tales; besides she knew the stories by heart.

This particular novel had 4.7 stars out of 5 so it must be good. She had read the description which described it as a ‘great fantasy epic’.

There was nothing in the description to suggest that there was anything inappropriate. Just a more modern day way of telling fantastical tales of dragons and magic.

Bryce always read the description carefully before purchasing a book, ever since that time she bought ‘Dirty Doctor Takes The Nurse‘.

She had assumed that it was a medical thriller but it turned out to be a doctor having sex with a nurse. She later realised that the explicit content had been appropriately labelled in the description, Bryce had just neglected to read it; on reflection she did wonder why the nurse on the front cover was hardly wearing her uniform (which incidentally was no way a standard nursing outfit).

This time she had checked the description and nothing was marked inappropriate or mature. Besides the publisher was well known and as she understood it just people who self publish wrote that naughty stuff.

She had been looking forward to starting the novel during her lunchtime but the dreamy Tyler had ensured that was not possible. She would have to start it later that night.

Bryce loved reading and while her sister would be out partying, she would be tucked up in bed reading a romantic tale where the handsome knight saves the beautiful princess.

She sighed as she realised she had hours of work left before she could escape to that world of romance and chivalry.

Bryce would read until her eyes got heavy and she would fall asleep dreaming of that elusive Knight that would sweep her off her feet.

She begun to daydream and in her mind the Knight rode towards her on a beautiful stallion. As he approached she noted he was not wearing a helmet. He was still far away but she swore he resembled Tyler.

Her daydream was interrupted before she could see her romantic Knight in full view by the old lady returning to the table to get her tea and sudoku book.