A Song Of Bryce & Tyler : Part Eight

“They ate the dove!”

This was how the Toonidunzas responded to the invitation to attend the Snoflakian peace summit.

The Chief Dunza, although sometimes it was difficult to know who’s the boss, had grabbed the dove and bit the bird’s head off.

The decapitated carcass was then sent back. As an RSVP it did seem rather passive aggressive; a bit like if someone returns a wedding invitation and under Dietary Requirements had written ‘Don’t think much of the menu choices’.

Bryce sighed. If answers to her dilemma with Tyler were to be found in this book she doubted the Toonidunzas would provide much help.

They were Barbarians and treated everyone with a distinct lack of respect. From what Bryce could work out they’d either kill you or have sex with you, sometimes both.

Tyler was not like that, he was respectful, kind but his primal urges were becoming apparent.

The passion in his kiss had increased. The build up of intensity all designed to finally reach that next stage of their relationship.

If Bryce was reading too much into how he kissed then she could feel his intention quite prominently rubbing against her.

Bryce was certainly not an unwilling participant in this show of passion. But when they reached that pivotal moment a flash of doubt would echo through her mind;

Is he my one true love?

This would be enough for the moment to be gone for Bryce. Whilst Tyler was still very much in that moment, Bryce was planning her exit strategy. Inevitably, it would lead them to sitting on the sofa in awkward silence.

Occasionally, Tyler would break that silence by saying that Bryce was ‘a tease’. He would punctuate that with a laugh so as not to cause offence. However, often he would sit quietly, waiting for his urges to rescind.

The Toonidunzas had no such problems. They simply acted instinctively on their urges. They took what they wanted. Within the Dunza camp there was a harem where the women who lived there had one simple role – to service the most basic of instincts for these warrior men.

The Author spent little time in exploring how these women may feel about this arrangement. The point of view was always from the Dunza Warrior. They didn’t seem to care at all and would have sex if they were happy or mad or sad or even if they just fancied sex.

From what Bryce could work out there was a hierarchy within the harem. As in any clan there were those who were more desirable than others. Indeed to have the Chief Dunza choose you was an indication of status.

Perhaps the Dunzas were not so removed from real life. There were men and women who were deemed more desirable than others; magazines are always creating lists of them. The hierarchy for all to see in glossy print.

Tyler was certainly desirable. He was devilishly handsome, athletic and if the local paper did a list of Most Desirable Guys, he would certainly be at the top.

Such desirability did not go unnoticed by others. Bryce saw how other women look at him. They way they would swoon if he happened to flash them a smile or even simply walk past.

He could have them if he wanted. But he had chosen Bryce. Yet, during those moments in the deafening quiet, where she had once again thwarted his attempts to indulge his urge, she saw he was disappointed.

She could tell by the look in his eyes that was he confused. His mind racing with whether the problem was with him or with her. The mere fact he’d be thinking there was a problem troubled Bryce. Those thoughts would only grow until , like a behemoth, it swallowed them whole and spat out whatever remained of their relationship.

It would be an ironic twist that she could lose her one true love for fear that he wasn’t her one true love.

Tyler had been patient, she loved that about him but she was acutely aware that such a precious commodity can wear thin.

And when it is gone, what next? The Toonidunzas had no patience. When they wanted something they took it.

If Tyler was a Dunza he would have taken her by now. Alternatively, there would be plenty of other women who are available to indulge those primal urges.

Amongst the doves and ravens, Bryce could sense those other women circling like vultures ready to feast on the dying carcass of her relationship with Tyler.

A Song Of Bryce & Tyler : Part Four

“And where do you see yourself in five years?”

Bryce inwardly sighed at the question. She had wanted to be reading more of the fantasy novel but instead was stuck in a room being appraised.

Personal Development Plans, Goals, Objectives all designed by some maniac in Human Resources as a tick box exercise and an opportunity to spout some nonsensical phrases.

“So Bryce I really want to nail down your competency as a team player and measure your productivity for the benefit of our stakeholders”

She would have preferred not being asked a thousand different questions that effectively all asked ‘Are you good at your job’. She wanted to be back in Earthykinda.

The action had just moved to The D’Annimo family; they were the wizardy magic people.

To emphasise how wizardy they were a lot of time was spent by the author in having them talk in riddle and refer to a prophecy.

Bryce was used to prophecies in the fairy tales she read and invariably they would come true no matter how much someone tried to prevent it.

She always saw this as some sort of annoying spoiler right at the start of the book.

Bryce knew that a prophecy was just a posh word for a guess but supposed it wouldn’t sound all mysterious and fantastical if some wise old sage said “So I’m guessing that this child will rule all and bring peace to the kingdom. He might not, but if I’m right – Bonus!”

The prophecy in this story was that ‘Only the True Blood Prince can rule all of Earthykinda”

Therefore all the families now believed that they were the True Blood and all laid claim to the Throne of Earthykinda.

Now because this was fake olden days such claims would not be made through DNA analysis of blood or by going on a reality TV show. Nope. They were all going to beat the crap out of each other thus proving whoever was left standing must be the True Blood Prince.

The D’Annimo family were harbouring a baby that they believed to be the True Blood. The barbarian clan, The Toonidunzas, were trying to murder the child.

Of course, The D’Annimos were not having any of it and defended themselves with all manner of sorcery.

It struck Bryce that if this prophecy had come from the D’Annimos (seeing as they were wizards it made sense they were the ones who brought it up) then why didn’t they just say ‘The prophecy states this child will NOT be the True Blood Prince’.

Just throw in some self-defeating prophecies to throw the barbarians off the scent. Or slicing them in twain with magic fire blasts would also do the trick.

Bryce had wanted to read more but work had prevented her from doing so. Finally, after what seemed an age, her appraisal concluded.

“Well Bryce we are very impressed with your work and you could be looking at promotion in the near future”

Was that a prophecy?

‘I’ll take that pay rise wise old sage.’