The Randomness Of Selina : Year 2 Day 14 : My Great Comic Book Idea Evolves

Regular readers and followers on my Twitter will have noted that over the weekend I had an epiphany.

Previously I had lived my life assuming that comic books were for everyone. I had believed that has we evolve so do comics ensuring an inclusivity that means no-one, whatever their age, sexual orientation and race is left out of the magical medium of comic books.

Turns out that’s all bullshit and what people want is scantily clad women shooting stuff.

So this inspired me to start work on my own comic and although it’s only been 24 hours there have already been some changes.

My main focus has been to work on really cool names for the Group(s).

For the scantily clad women I have created the Secret Lady Ultimate Tactical Service (S.L.U.T.S)

The buff men who team up with them will be known as Dudes Into Covert Killing (D.I.C.K)

Now some of them were originally in a regional group of buff men called Very Angry Guys In North America (V.A.G.I.N.A)

There is a complex back story to all this and it can be summarised as follows;

D.I.C.K came from V.A.G.I.N.A. Although they now just prefer D.I.C.K but happy to be in S.L.U.T.S when it suits them. S.L.U.T.S can work with both D.I.C.K and V.A.G.I.N.A.

All clear? Good. I think this is shaping up very nicely, don’t you?

The Randomness Of Selina : Year 2 Day 13 : Scantily Clad Women Go On A Top Secret Mission

So earlier today I decided I was going to write a comic that takes inspiration from when comics were great. Apparently, they are really rubbish now.

I did some research about what people consider to be a great comic. Helpfully there is this guy on YouTube who does videos about what’s great and what’s rubbish.

So I think I will do a crowdfunded comic that really pays homage to the what was once great.

The working title is Scantily Clad Women Go On A Top Secret Mission With Buff Men.

However I am toying with the idea of calling it Super Tactical Slut Force.

Now I have zero writing experience in comics and so appreciate that you may be reluctant to part with money for a comic.

So below is an example scene which I think you agree is amazing.

Slutface reaching up to grab her TITS*

(* Tactical Intelligent Titanium Suit)

Hank : Hey sweetcheeks need a hand?

Slutface: I’m trying to get my TITS so I’m ready for the mission

Hank (grabbing at Slutface’s voluptuous breasts) : You mean these?

Slutface (giggling): Oh Hank. We don’t have time. An army of buff men are on their way to attack us. They will be here any minute.

Hank (grabbing her breasts tighter): We’ve got time.

Slutface: They will be here in five minutes and you are such an amazing lover and you know I can’t resist

Hank: I know. You’ll want it a second time

Slutface: And I can’t have my own desire for your buffness risk the base being destroyed.

Hank: The sacrifices you make for your country.

Slutface: I know. Now help with these TITS.

…… Haaaannnk – the other TITS

So there you go. I’m gonna make comics great again.

The Needy Mule : Mule Pick : 9th May 2018

It’s Wednesday and you know what that means……New Comic Book Day!!!….. Unless you live in the UK then due to a rather pleasant Bank Holiday we get all our comics tomorrow.

I’ve never really understood why that it is but they appear to be the rules. Sometimes it can be beneficial, if there has been a particular ‘sleeper’ comic it does allow us Brits to be on alert for it. However, having to wait an extra day more often than not sucks.

So in to the Mule Picks

Pick Of The Week

Scooby Apocalypse #25

The Death of Fred? People don’t tend to stay dead for long in Comic Book land so I wouldn’t be surprised if the death of this beloved character doesn’t last.

However the Scooby Apocalypse series has been a fun read.

Also want to give an honourable mention to Batman : White Knight #8.

The conclusion to a wonderful ‘alternate reality’ Batman series from Sean Murphy and Matt Hollingsworth.

Great variant cover to conclude the series.

Cover of The Week

Detective Comics #980 Variant by Rafael Albuquerque

Been loving Albuquerque’s Variants for Detective Comics and this is one of my favourites.

Indie Pick Of Week

Okay I checked my Pull List (or should that be Mule List and to my surprise couldn’t see any Indie/ Small Press comics on there this week.

So let me give a mention to a comic I picked up last week.

Daygloayhole #1

I love crazy post-apocalyptic stories and Ben Passmore has produced one by the bucket load.

Great fun. This may be difficult to track down but if you see it definitely pick it up.

Issue #2 will be out on 25th July.

That’s it for now Mule fans. Until next week

The Needy Mule: Preview Of Headless by Banchitta & Ahmad

Well here is a first for my Needy Mule Comic Blog side of my website, I get to preview a comic book.

HEADLESS is written by Alex Banchitta with art by Robert Ahmad.

There is no date for release yet but this is certainly a comic you want to keep on your radar.

It’s a horror adventure set in a small town during the 1980s. A mysterious death prompts concerns that the demon Headless Horseman has returned.

The premise is certainly an interesting one and the first issue does well to set up the main players in this saga.

Perhaps at times the dialogue gets a bit heavy and in places could have done with it being more punchy. I can understand the need to cram as much into the first issue, especially for an independent publication that certainly needs the reader returning for that difficult second part.

And believe me the final panel will have you wanting more of this story.

Whilst I hate comparing stuff to established works, that does seem the way of the world for reviews nowadays. So, fans of Netflix’s Stranger Things or Image’s Paper Girls will definitely like the mood that develops throughout this issue.

The art is fantastic; the use of colours and stylised characters are very reminiscent of the late, great Darwyn Cooke; but you can also see influences from other artists such as Frank Miller and Cliff Chiang, which when mashed together has its own unique quality.

So, a strong first issue which sets up the rest of the story with the requisite amount of mystery and intrigue that bodes well for the rest of the series.

I would rate this 4 stars out of 5….Wait a star rating is so last year.

Ahem…. I rate this 6 Mules out of 7. That’s right, I have created a whole new system for assessing the quality of a comic book.

It’s my blog, I can do what I want!

Anyway keep a look out for Headless by Banchitta & Ahmad.

Until next time Mule fans.

The Needy Mule : A Mule Pick: April 25 2018

It’s New Comic Book Day and the first Mule Pick post.

Each week the mule will pick its favourite release of the week along with the best cover…..Look I know loads of people do it but the Mule ain’t people!

Pick of the Week

AVENGERS #690

The fantastic sixteen part epic No Surrender reaches it’s conclusion.

This series has been an awesome read and harks back to the great Marvel stories of old.

There is also a rather beautiful variant cover by Inhyuk Lee which is worth grabbing

Cover Of The Week

Rick & Morty #37 – Cover B Vasquez Variant

The mule loves homage covers and also its well known that they are big Rick & Morty fans.

This cover is a wonderful take on X-Men #141.

It seems each week someone is doing a homage cover and whilst I am not complaining I wonder if we will soon see a homage of a homage.

There is also an exclusive variant to this issue which is a homage to the classic cover of X-Men #100, which is certainly worth hunting down.

Indie Pick

Devil In Disguise #2 (Garvey/Ahmad) on Comixology

If you like digital comics then this indie gem enjoys its digital release on Comixology.

A fantastic Superhero/horror story with great art.

You can read the first two issues HERE

Issue 2 is also a homage cover as well! (I’ve said homage way too much in this post)

That’s it for the week. Until next week (or whenever we next do this as the Mule can be quite unreliable)

And remember – Listen to the Mule!

The Needy Mule Presents: Excerpts From – The Battle Of The Scribes : A Tale of the Variants

We don’t talk about The Time Of The Scribes anymore.

They are now simply a footnote in our chaotic history; that is if we were allowed to write footnotes or indeed write anything. After the War the written word became virtually obsolete in these lands.

In the beginning there was just one Scribe who would every week produce parchments for the town folk to enjoy. Scriptures to amuse, to educate, to thrill. The people loved the offering from The Scribe.

Soon, there would be more Scribes and now the people of the town had a choice. Inevitably, such a choice would lead to division and subsequently it would end…..Well you know what happened next.

These Scribes became revered, worshipped. Everyone wanted to own those sacred parchments; they became the very symbol of status.

Yet there never were enough to go round. Despite the number of Scribes the demand for these sought after parchments were too great.

Every week on an oak table the offerings of The Scribes were laid out and the huge crowd that had gathered would rush to ensure they were able to get one. Invariably, a large number of the town would leave empty handed.

It hadn’t always been that way. When the First Scribe produced the original parchment it was seen as something of a curiosity. The people were happy to share and enjoy these texts together.

No one knows how these parchments became to be held in such high regard but when that happened, everything changed.

It begun in the local tavern where many folk would discuss the virtue of the latest offering from The Scribes.

Some would be quite vocal in preferring one Scribe over the other. Others would talk for hours about how one particular parchment is the most sacred of them all.

Night after night these heated discussions would occur upsetting the once harmonious balance of the town.

The conversations that took place in the tavern would spread across the town and soon people were on the hunt for the special, prized parchment.

Some would protect their prized parchment by encasing it in impenetrable material. Despite the cries of protest that no one will ever again be able to enjoy the sacred text ever again more and more people began to do it.

Others took a different approach. There were those in the town who did not care too much for The Scribes’ parchments. They would use the status that came with owning one to become rich.

It started with the odd sale at the Tavern but soon this market to buy pre owned parchments grew. Therefore, each week on the day after The Scribes had left their parchments, the people would make their way down to The Bay.

At The Bay, food and other precious commodities were exchanged for ownership of a precious parchment. The people of the town desperate to outbid each other in an attempt to increase their own status.

Whilst some would sell their prized parchment because they were poor and needed to feed their family others were more nefarious.

After The Scribes had been, those wishing to sell their parchment at the highest price possible would go to the Tavern and spread rumours that this week’s offering were the most sacred there had been.

As word spread large crowds would gather at The Bay desperate to own it. This would guarantee the owner a high return.

Indeed, such was the reward that people would scoop up as many parchments as they could to sell at The Bay.

Some argued that they just wanted to read the parchments, like everyone had done in the beginning, but their voices could not be heard over those who clambered to own a parchment with the sole intention of selling it at the highest price possible.

Others aware of the demand for these parchments would horde them away at their home; sometimes waiting for the right price or for that inevitable rainy day.

Attempts were made to resolve this problem. A kindly old gentleman would copy the parchments so that those who missed out could enjoy the text.

Initially, they were seen as a lesser parchment but soon those who now controlled The Bay were suggesting that even those reproductions had value due to being even more scarce. Soon no one could read them without paying a high price.

This continued for many years and every week more people would be unable to read the Scribes’ sacred parchments as initially intended. All the while, those who controlled The Bay got more powerful.

And then The Scribes stopped delivering parchments……….

Needy Mule – An Introduction

Hello

Those who follow me know I love comic books.

It was my brother who introduced me to the wonderful world of comics. He did so not out of a geek necessity but for more selfish reasons.

Here’s how it would go;

Dad : I’m going out, look after your sister

Bro: But Dad I’m meant to be seeing -(Insert name of random girl of the week)-.

Dad: Don’t care. Take care of your sister.

After spending ten minutes telling me how much he hated me, my brother would hatch a plan for said girl to come round. His dilemma was that his younger sister,who equally hated him, would have no hesitation in telling their Dad of his persistent rule breaking.

His solution was to stick me in my room with a stack of comic books (and if he required complete privacy I’d get his Game Boy as well)

Bro: Read these. Stay in here. Don’t move

Me: Okay. But I don’t really read comics.

Bro: Look this character has the same name as you. It’s cool. Just don’t disturb me.

Me: Okay!

Ten minutes later I would walk into his room to see him with some girl in just her bra.

Me: Can you explain the Infinite Crisis Storyline to me

Bro: SELINA!! GET OUT!

Me: Sorry. I’ll leave you and Emma alone

Girl: I’m Amanda

Me: You were Emma yesterday

Bro: GET OUT!

Bro (to girl): Ignore her she’s just some troubled kid we adopted……Why are you hitting me?!

This arrangement continued and soon I had amassed a large collection of comic books.

Every night I would ignore the strange noises coming from my Brother’s room and enter the world of Gotham or go on adventures with the X-Men.

I loved the art, the stories, everything about a comic book appealed to my overactive imagination.

I wanted to be Catwoman. I wanted to be Rogue.

At school I would do book reviews about comics (get detention), my geography project was on Wakanda (got detention) and all my art lessons revolved around comics (Selina,Picasso never drew for Marvel).

On Twitter I often tweet about comics and it was inevitable that eventually my love of this medium would make its way to this website.

Although, really all the stuff on here is in some way influenced by comic books – it’s in my DNA. When I visualise a story it’s normally in the form of a comic book unfolding in my mind.

So, look, I’m going to occasionally post something about comic books.

I have even given the page that will host the posts a name – Needy Mule: The Alternative Comic Book Blog.

Don’t expect any exclusive insight into the industry nor some geeked out, well researched history of some story arc.

It’s probably for the best that we all keep our expectations low here.

It may be fun or it may get to the point that you are begging me to go back to writing about Killer Mutant Squirrels.

Who knows.

The intention is to post, on occasions, comic based anecdotes, hot picks for that particular week and any other random thought I may have relating to the comic book industry.

For normal blog readers do not worry this is just a side project and my stories and other musings will certainly continue.

If you have happened on this just for comics then this is your safe space. Familiarise yourself with your surroundings!

You are welcome to leave the confines of the Needy Mule page but be warned you’re on your own. I accept no responsibility for what may happen to you out there in the chaos of the rest of my site.