There were a number of noises that troubled Lorna.
The ringing in her ears provided an irritating background melody to the other sounds that filled the car.
There was a troubling hissing sound that accompanied thick smoke that rose from the crushed bonnet of the vehicle.
This harmonised with the persistent drip drip drip that came from underneath. Lorna was not the most knowledgeable about cars but even she knew enough to understand that probably was not a good thing.
Her laboured breathing provided a dark lyrical accompaniment as she turned her attention to her fellow occupants.
Veronica was slumped motionless in the front passenger seat. A trail of crimson outlined her perfectly defined face.
Hesitantly, Lorna reached out her hand to try and find a pulse. After, a few moments clumsily pawing away at Veronica’s neck she realised, having never attended a First Aid course, that she had no clue as to what she was supposed to be doing.
Instead Lorna opted to assess whether Veronica was alive by seeing if she looked dead. In the few short hours since she’d been merrily performing fellatio on some guy Lorna had seen her fair share of dead bodies. Admittedly it had been easier then on account of their heads being detached from their bodies.
As Lorna turned to examine Veronica a new noise entered the endless cacophony; a gurgling sound in her stomach. Hunger? Fear? Disgust? Whatever it’s origin she tried to dampen the noise by swallowing hard, although this only seemed to provoke the grumbling fire in her belly.
She stared at Veronica who despite having blood running down her face looked healthy. Rather than a grey complexion, which Lorna assumed would indicate death, Veronica’s skin had a healthy, glowing complexion. She concluded Veronica was not dead, either that or her wedding make-up really was top quality.
Lorna’s attention moved to Elena who sat in the middle rear passenger seat. She equally did not look dead but Lorna’s examination was brief because of what she saw through the cracked window.
It was Them!
The sound of the collision must have alerted the horde who lumbered over to investigate.
A dark shadow descended over the car as these things began to swarm around it.
Now the final, terrible sounds joined the symphony of certain doom. The low moans, clunking of feet on asphalt and flesh hitting metal as they surrounded the vehicle.
Lorna sat perfectly still. Perhaps this was some instinctive survival technique, or it could have been that she had watched Jurassic Park and was hoping if it worked for a T-Rex it might work for these things with protruding cocks.
Her options were limited. Although she had the knowledge and means to kill them there were too many of them. She would hardly have the time to open her mouth before being ripped to shreds.
It was impossible to run away. Even if there were an opening Lorna would be unable to carry both Veronica and Elena.
Should she try and escape alone? This would mean certain death for the unconscious Veronica and Elena.
Lorna wrestled with this predicament. She hardly knew both of them and could hardly be classed as friends; Veronica had never once offered to hold Lorna’s hair back whilst she threw up.
Yet the life that Lorna had known was gone. Nothing made any sense and she took comfort in the normality of having people around. …People who didn’t have large penises and wanted to kill you.
Even if she could escape on her own, Lorna could not bear to face whatever other horrors lay in store alone.
No. She would survive in this strange new world with them or she would die with them.
‘But what if Veronica and Elena are already dead?’
However noble her declaration of a Last Stand with her new found companions, Lorna’s brain clearly thought this was something she should consider before submitting to certain death.
After all the ‘They don’t look dead’ Test was, at best, unreliable. It would be a terrible irony if she allowed herself to die trying to save someone who was already dead.
There had been no time during the collision to have a chat but if Veronica and Elena could talk would they not have said ‘Lorna you go. Save yourself. Be free. Survive the apocalypse without us’.
With her hand on the door handle and plotting her solo escape suddenly a new sound appeared, one that had not been present before. It was low murmurs emanating from Veronica and Elena. They were alive!
Lorna slumped into her seat and with her arms folded across her chest contemplated which of the three dangers present would be the one to kill her. Would it be the carbon monoxide that begun to fill the car? Or the petrol catching a light and burning them alive? Or would she be torn apart by one of those things that circled the vehicle?
Such was her preoccupation with the manner in which she would perish that she did not immediately notice that the things were moving away from the vehicle.
When she finally did Lorna saw through the fogged up windscreen what had caught their attention; it was the occupant of the other car.
Lorna wiped the glass with her sleeve and watched through the gloom as they descended upon the other stricken vehicle.
This was her opportunity. All she had to do was wake Veronica and Elena and they could make their escape. Although incredibly strong these things were not fast and by the time they finished with the other vehicle there would be a healthy gap between them.
Lorna had contemplated helping the stranded driver but she was hideously outnumbered. She hoped the driver would be able to outrun them, but as she allowed herself to glance back towards the other vehicle she could see the driver was making no such attempt to run.
As Lorna attempted to rouse Veronica she tried to dismiss any further thought of the driver.
You can’t save them all. There will be casualties.
The driver was too far away to communicate but if they could chat maybe they would say ‘Look, it was my fault. I caused the crash with some ropey driving and put you all in danger. My gruesome death to ensure your survival is the least I can do to apologise’
Lorna continued shaking Veronica when suddenly she heard a sound. A sound that cut through all the other noises that had made up this macabre masterpiece.
It was the sound of a woman screaming. Very loudly.
Angie Raines just wanted to start this day over again.
She has heard people in coffee shops complaining about their day but she was certain that she now had the monopoly on really bad days.
Oh your Boss shouted at you? Well mine tried to have me killed.
That project you were working on didn’t go to plan? Well my project was used to destroy humanity.
Angry about that dick who pranged your car and then shouted at you? Well I crashed mine and I’m about to be massacred by abominations of genetics!
Angie could have run, she was junior sprint champion and these things were not fast. But she found herself transfixed by what was walking towards her.
Part of her brain screamed for her to run but the other part, the scientific part, marvelled at these creations.
It’s not possible!
She tried to recall her work, all the tests, studies and theories to realise how these things came to be.
Just prior to the crash Angie believed she could help stop this. She was running into the danger not away from it. But as these abominations neared she realised it was all now a lost cause.
By the time the scientific part of her brain had worked out how this all came to be they were upon her. The other part of her brain took over and screamed loudly.
Angie closed her eyes and awaited death. She probably deserved it. Killed by the things she helped create. There would be a poetry to her demise.
Suddenly they stopped. Their attention drawn towards the other car whose horn blared persistently.
Angie could see a blonde woman leaning out of the drivers window shouting. It was difficult to hear what she was saying over the blaring of the horn, but it sounded like ‘Over here you fucking weird looking wankers.’
The abominations turned and stalked back towards the other vehicle.
Stupid idea. Stupid idea. Stupid idea.
Lorna blocked out her brain’s protest as she planted her hand firmly on the horn and shouted all manner of obscenities at these things.
She watched as they lost interest in the other driver and made their way towards her.
Part one of her plan had worked but there was a problem, she didn’t have a second part.
Quicker than she expected they had surrounded her vehicle and begun shaking and punching it, desperate to get to what was inside.
Lorna could see through a gap that the other driver was just standing there.
For fuck’s sake. RUN!
Lorna repeatedly slammed her hand down on the horn, hoping she could get it to say ‘Fucking Run!’
The car violently shook as these things pawed away at it. Then to Lorna’s shock a penis shot through the metal door frame.
After a moment of screaming she knew what she had to do. This was their only chance of survival.
Lorna ran her tongue over her lips and then took the invading penis into her mouth. Within a few moments a shower of blood coated the car, the expected outcome was confirmed.
There was to be no respite. No sooner had one marauding penis been handled then another would appear…and then another, all around the vehicle.
Lorna coped with as many as she could but there were too many for her to deal with it at once. She felt like she was playing some horrifically perverted game of whack-a-mole. A game she had already proven to be quite good at, albeit she had to occasionally pause to prevent herself from throwing up.
One penis penetrated the passenger door narrowly missing Veronica’s head that rested against it. This was enough to fully rouse Veronica from her impromptu slumber.
She looked around, slightly confused. Still in that moment of blissful thinking that everything she’d experienced, from her family being massacred at the wedding to her husband’s head exploding on the dance floor, had all been an horrific nightmare.
However the sight of an angry penis protruding through door was a harsh reminder of what her life was like now.
“Oh hey sweetie, you’re awake” Lorna said, pausing to take another penis into her mouth “Look I know you just woke up but I’m really going to need you to suck on that cock for me”.
Rubbing her eyes and letting out a sigh she dutifully obliged. Together her and Lorna dealt with wave after wave. With each laboured suck blood and brains cascaded down upon the car. The outside no longer visible through the crimson and pink hue that flowed down the windscreen
Elena woke and as if it were the most normal thing in the world helpfully assisted without question.
The sound of blood splashing onto glass and brain hitting metal. These sounds increased in speed and in pitch. Each splash and crash a symphony of success for the three ladies inside.
Then it stopped. All that could be heard was the original hissing and drip drip drip that had opened this morbid melody.
Lorna, Veronica and Elena all looked at each other. Reluctant to open the car door in case any of those things still remained but acutely aware that if they stayed in the car they would probably blow up.
It was Lorna who nervously opened the driver’s door but jumped back as a large glob of brain slid down. She kicked the door open and jumped out, running to the front of the car. She put her hands on her knees and begun to wretch.
Veronica followed next, skipping around the blood and brains in an hysterical fashion. Elena left the vehicle last and seemed rather nonplussed by the carnage.
Lorna examined the car. She saw the amount of holes that had been made and wondered how such a thing could be explained to the insurance company.
– Hi, I need to report an accident
– What happened?
– Well, I was driving away from a load of ridiculously strong guys that have their penis protruding through their trousers when someone crashed into us
– I see
– Then the ridiculously strong guys started making holes in the car
– What with?
– Oh with their penis.
– I see. Well unfortunately you didn’t take out the optional third party penis cover so we cannot help I’m afraid.
Lorna’s attention turned to the other driver who stood motionless, her mouth open.
“Wha…Wha…What just happened?” asked Angie
“Long story” Lorna replied, taking a moment to survey where they were.
“But how did you kill them?”
Lorna smiled. It was probably the first time she had smiled since all this crazy mess begun, but there it was…
Royal King Chicken – The finest chicken place in London.
Lorna turned to Angie “I’ll tell you over dinner”
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