So we follow Detective Duprez on his journey to the forest. To show how brilliant but flawed he is we need to have him driving a crap car so I suggest a Yugo 45 (my brother says he can get us one if we need it).
The Yugo 45 would also be a good choice because if we need to stretch this journey (or indeed any journey) out for runtime reasons it’s highly unlikely the Yugo can comfortably go higher than 60mph.
Anyway he eventually arrives at the crime scene and is met by his partner – Detective Bland.
To be honest, there really will be minimal character development with Detective Bland. His sole purpose is to explain police procedures to the audience and to emphasise how brilliant yet flawed Duprez is.
There really is little point to the character and Detective Duprez will spend the entire time just being a dick to him.
Inevitably Detective Bland will be killed off. I suppose just to make him vaguely interesting he can die saving Duprez.
Duprez of course will be all upset about it despite the fact he has been nothing but a dick to the guy. That should be good enough to sell the premise that flawed but brilliant Duprez always saw Bland as the son he never had. He was just being a complete dick because deep down he really loved him.
So killing Bland off following a brutal attack by a Unicorned Squirrel adds deeper emotional context to the complex characteristics of Duprez. Plus we get this awesome line of dialogue;
Duprez: No Bland that horn was meant for me.
Emotional stuff, right?
Anyway I’m getting ahead of myself. So Duprez and Bland walk towards the bodies that have been savagely attacked by a Unicorned Squirrel. There they meet a Forensic Pathologist.
Again no need to waste time with the character of the Forensic Pathologist because literally all we need he or she to do is engage in this line of dialogue;
Duprez: Cause of death?
Pathologist: I won’t be sure until I’ve studied the bodies back at the lab but if I were to guess I would say the multiple horn shaped penetrating wounds all over the body…. It’s either that or natural causes.
Duprez: What sort of weapon could have make such wounds?
Pathologist: I will know more when I’m back at the lab but I would guess it’s nothing man made.
Pathologist: Animals don’t make weapons but given the ferocity of the attack I would say we are looking at some sort of creature but I’ll know more when I’m back in the lab.
Duprez: What sort of creature could do this?
Pathologist: I have no idea I’m not a zoologist.
This would lead us nicely into Duprez getting back in his Yugo 45 and taking a long drive to go speak with the zoologist.
Yes I know this is all unnecessary because the audience knows it was a Unicorned Squirrel that did it. But do they know the squirrel is from Mars?…Yes it is in the title of the movie but do they know why the squirrels have come to earth . Okay so the Overlord bit in the title probably does suggest they want to enslave us and take over the world.
But look do you know what’s going to happen next? No, you don’t. But you really want to know, don’t you?
Next up we meet a new main Character