The Movie Pitch Of Selina VII : The Overlord Unicorned Squirrels From Mars : The Thickening Of The Plot

We head towards the final act. Melissa has brought a dead Unicorned Squirrel to Duprez, declaring that it is an alien species. Now, Duprez in his flawed but brilliant way, is having none of it.

Forgetting he has zero qualifications to even attempt a conversation about alien species, he’s straight up in there suggesting Melissa is crazy for saying it.

Then she shows him the green blood that is oozing from the temple of the Unicorned Squirrel (which occurred when Melissa repeatedly bashed its head in with a metal tray).

Even Duprez knows that green blood can mean only one thing….Alien; well that or you really need to be seeing a Doctor.

Duprez is now all happy to accept its an alien species (not that he really had any justification for disputing that in the first place) and he wants to know more.

Despite the very intelligent Melissa pointing out it was alien, Duprez decides someone else needs to provide more information, so it’s off to the Secret Astrological Research Centre.

Yes, I know it’s meant to be secret but it’s a small town and half the residents work there. Plus there is a whopping great telescope sticking out the roof.

Duprez and Melissa leave the Police station , pushing past the crazy homeless guy still banging on about someone coming, and drive to the Secret Astrological Research Centre.

Despite it being a top secret facility owned by the Government which clearly Duprez does not have clearance for he just storms straight in because Duprez don’t give a shit. Strangely, the people paid to actually stop anyone walking in to a top secret facility don’t really put much effort into stopping him.

Inside he meets Sophie and slams the dead Unicorned Squirrel on a table. WHAM! Just like he couldn’t care less about showing a member of the public photos of decapitated bodies, he’s just waving around dead alien corpses for all to see.

“We think it’s an alien” says Duprez, conveniently ignoring the fact that about ten minutes ago he was ready to have Melissa certified for suggesting such a thing.

Sophie begins to examine the squirrel corpse saying things like ‘interesting’, ‘curious’ and ‘I wonder’ (Like with the science stuff I haven’t got the alien bits all sorted yet but these vague sentiments will be enough to make the viewer think that some mysterious shit is going on).

They are interrupted by Professor Schrinkle. He’s being all creepy and when advised by Duprez of the alien species he offers to help in anyway he can. Schrinkle doesn’t mean it because he is a creepy lying bastard.

It is agreed that Sophie would perform an autopsy on the alien squirrel because that is apparently what Astrological physicists do. Melissa agrees to stay and help and promises to let Duprez know as soon as they find anything out.

Working into the night Sophie and Melissa start talking, it will be a great way to fill in some back story without taking up much time.

Having only just met these girls are not shy of over sharing. Sophie tells Melissa about her dad who was an astronaut that went missing on a one man mission to Mars. She explains how it destroyed the family and left her with a numb feeling of emptiness all her life.

Melissa tells Sophie she is a lesbian.

They then have sex.

Hot, naked lesbian sex.

Putting aside the appropriateness of having sex in a place of work , especially one where you are about to cut open an alien squirrel, there should be nothing wrong with two women expressing their desire for each other.

Love is love and this should be seen as the most natural thing ever.

However, from the point of view of getting people to watch the movie, a hot lesbian sex scene should see it ripped and posted on a website like Pornhub.

A number of guys eager to knock one our before their wife comes home or mum calls them for dinner will watch it. They will then assume that Overlord Unicorned Squirrels is full of hot sex.

They will of course find out that it just has a pair of male writhing buttocks at the start, a solo shower scene and a bit of lesbian sex. But we won’t care because they would have paid their money.

It’s not as if someone is going to post a review on Rotten Tomatoes saying ‘Can only jerk off one and a half times to this ‘.

Anyway, Melissa and Sophie have sex featuring saxophone music, heavy breathing and the sound of a mechanical arm going back and forth.

Melissa awakes from the post-coitus slumber and wraps a sheet round her. Despite not giving a shit about the alien squirrel when she was all horny now that she has had a few orgasms she decides to take a look….. But it’s gone!

She alerts Sophie to the absence of the previously dead alien Unicorned Squirrel. Where could it be?

Back in town, Duprez is just driving around in his Yugo when he gets a call on the radio. There are multiple reports of a disturbance at the bowling alley. Reports of rodents…with horns.

“Shit!” Duprez says performing a handbrake turn in his Yugo “It’s Thursday night. That’s the Mother and Daughter Bowling Tournament Night. I got to get there”

Don’t miss the action packed next episode

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